Tomas & Brett - January 9th 2020

After an intimate lunch within The Barn, Tomas & Brett looked at each other and were both comforted and overwhelmed, imagining the people they care about all gathered under the one roof, laughing, crying and filling the room with love. A few months later, Tomas and Brett walked down the aisle, together, as a strong symbol of how they are entering this marriage.

HOW DID YOU MEET?

Brett works as a Principal Artist for The Australian Ballet, and tucked around the corner from their headquarters is a little café and grocer. Prior to finishing studying, Tomas used to work at the grocer, sometimes on the late shift. Brett would come in to just buy something small… maybe to see if Tomas was working, and then like a good employee Tomas would upsell Brett into buying one or two extra goodies. Brett was always happy to oblige. This blossomed gently into grabbing little dinners after work, or having coffee beforehand. Quite quickly, we both knew that something beautiful was developing.

WHO PROPOSED AND HOW?

We had always known what we wanted for the rings, and that Tomas would be the one to propose. Once the rings were made, Tomas was supposed to drop them to Brett’s mum and dad for safe keeping. But those rings were burning a metaphorical hole in Tomas’ pocket. So they went to their favourite pub for dinner, and then down to the beach for ice cream. As the sun set, with those rings calling out, Tomas knew that this was the moment, even though it was completely unplanned.

WHAT WAS IT ABOUT STONES OF THE YARRA VALLEY THAT MADE YOU CHOOSE US?

We took a trip with our parents to the Yarra Valley to investigate venue options. We booked lunch in The Barn and then were going to hop around the other venues. All six of us sat down at our table, and before we could even pour a glass of wine, we started to get teary, completely aware that Stones was the place for us. As we looked around the space and at each other, we were both comforted and overwhelmed imagining the people we care about all gathered under the one roof, laughing, crying and filling the room with love. We cancelled the rest of our plans for the day – we knew we had found the right place.

WAS THERE A PARTICULAR VIBE OR THEME YOU WERE AIMING FOR ON YOUR WEDDING DAY?

We wanted a relaxed but refined energy. We achieved this through our vendors, and through the help of Stones. Having long communal tables with shared food gave a vibe that we were all coming together, to celebrate and enjoy ourselves. Having the event during the day felt to us that we utilised the natural assets of the space. Being able to see out over the vineyard, having the sun beam in through the glass to just lift everyone up, and being surrounded by incredible native flowers. It was the perfect day.

WHAT TRADITIONS DID YOU INVOLVE IN THE DAY AND WHY?

Our focus was on making our marriage our own. Some traditions felt restrictive and, in a way, not like they were made for us. We wanted to spend as much time together as possible, so we got ready together in the morning, which was one of the greatest decisions of the day. People would pop by our room down at The Farmhouse and send their love and have little moments like that as well that we could experience together. We then walked down the aisle together, as a strong symbol of how we are entering this marriage, together already, here to celebrate what we already have and to step together into our next chapter. One tradition we had was rings. We had rings made of diamonds and gold from each of our families, melted down and placed together with new white gold; symbolic of the uniting of our two families. We really spent every little moment of the day together, which just amplified the beauty in all the little things throughout the day.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE PART DURING YOUR CEREMONY?

Brett
Feeling so ourselves in front of friends and family in such a beautiful space. To be in a room full of loved ones who were there to support us on our journey.

Tomas
I have two! Firstly, the doors opening and seeing a room full of people who love and support us. That was magical. Secondly, the look on Brett’s face when I surprised them by singing part of my vows to them with the song “Songbird” by Eva Cassidy. The most honest and caring smile I have ever seen on anyone’s face.

DID YOU WRITE YOUR OWN VOWS? IF SO, WHAT MADE YOU DO THAT?

Yes we did. We felt it was important for us to be able to fully express ourselves authentically, ensuring that every aspect of the ceremony felt personal to us. We had the greatest time too with our Celebrant, Wendy, who helped guide us if we needed. But we felt like we both knew we wanted to say, and in Tomas’ case, sing too.

WHAT WAS THE BEST THING YOU DID AT YOUR WEDDING?

The best thing was spending all the little moments together, looking each other in the eyes and relishing those gems of time. We made a deal before the wedding that we wouldn’t get swept away or distracted by wanting everything to be perfect - since we knew the team and staff at Stones were on top of that for us. Taking that time together, before the ceremony at Meletos for breakfast, just before the doors opened to the chapel, sitting up in the loft as people exited, a glass of champagne in The Stables after our photos, seeing The Barn before the guests arrived, all through the reception. These moments can get lost in the sea of organisation that you’ve done, but we are so proud that we sat in them to just relish the joy.

WHAT DOES MARRIAGE MEAN TO YOU NOW?

We are very cognisant of the fact that prior to 2017, marriage wasn't a legal option for us. In the past there have been countless queer couples who have had full and loving relationships who never got to see marriage equality passed in Australia. We would never want to devalue the strength and ferocious love shared by these people who weren't able to make that choice. If anything, their enduring legacy is that we witnessed how outside of marriage you can be happier, fuller and richer in life when you are truly committed to those you love. Our marriage has blossomed just like those relationships from the past, but is now legally recognised. And we use our marriage as the foundation of how we propel ourselves forward. We were already making an incredible life together prior to our wedding, and we entered the married chapter of our life ready to make marriage our own, to continue growing together, and to live in our deep and shared understanding of what we willingly entered into on the 9th of January, 2020 at Stones of the Yarra Valley.

TELL US A LITTLE ABOUT WHAT LIFE IS LIKE NOW…

Our wedding was only weeks before the pandemic erupted and changed all of our lives forever. We used to say to ourselves, "if we can get through these lockdowns as a newly married couple then we can do anything together." And we were right. We have continued to grow with and for each other, to make the best of our marriage. We have faced challenges that people under 30 never anticipate. Last year, Tomas was diagnosed with cancer and underwent six months of chemotherapy. Luckily, because of marriage equality, Brett was able to spend some time with Tomas in the hospital (which if we weren't married wouldn't have been allowed). Brett continued to work at The Australian Ballet full time, but managed to also be Tomas' full time carer (along with their parents). Since finishing treatment only weeks ago, we have both been working back as artists to our fullest capacity. Brett has opened multiple ballets at The Arts Centre Melbourne. Tomas has written a play that’s being workshopped and composing new works being choreographed to. A whirlwind, but stronger together than ever before.

VENDORS:

Celebrant: @wendydoesweddings
Photographer: Bianca Virtue
Florist: Sugarbee Flowers
Band/DJ: our best friend Manali curated a playlist on spotify!
Cake: our cake was made by Tomas’ cousin Allira Jayne Cakes!